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Be good to your relatives even if they are bad to you!


The questioner asks: We have blood relations who revile us, so is it obligatory that we have to visit them and maintain the ties of kinship?


Maintaining the ties of kinship is from the best of deeds due to the saying of the Messenger (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam): Whoever would like his provision to be increased and his lifespan to be extended, let him maintain the ties of kinship. [Reported by Bukhari and Muslim from Anas Ibn Maalik (radiyallaahu-anhu]

Abu Hurairah (radiyallaahu-anhu) said: the Prophet (sallal-laahi-alayhi-wasallam) said: The Prophet said: Indeed Ar-Rahim (the womb) derives its root from Ar-Rahmãn (i.e., one of the Names of Allah) and Allah said: ‘I will keep good relation with the one who will keep good relation with you, (womb i.e., kith and kin) and sever the relation with him who will sever the relation with you, (womb, i.e., kith and kin).” [Reported by Bukhaari]

So even if you receive harm or revilement from them, it is still obligated on you to exercise patience in bearing their harm and deal with them kindly, and you’ll obtain a great reward (from Allaah). Abu Hurairah reported that a man said:

Abu Hurairah (radiyallaahu-anhu) said: A man said to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “I have relatives with whom I try to keep in touch, but they cut me off. I treat them well, but they abuse me. I am patient and kind towards them, but they insult me.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “If you are as you say, then it is as if you are putting hot dust in their mouths. Allaah will continue to support you as long as you continue to do that.” [Reported by Muslim]

Abdullah Ibn Umar (radiyallaahu-anhu) said that the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said: The one who maintains a relationship with his relatives only because they maintain a relationship with him is not truly upholding the ties of kinship. The one who truly upholds those ties is the one who does so even if they break off the relationship. [Reported by Bukhaari]

This is difficult upon the soul (i.e. a hard thing to bear patiently) but it carries a great reward.


[Source: Fadaa’il Al- A’maal pages 14-15’ by Shaikh Muhammad Bin Abdillaah As-Subayyil (rahimahullaah)]

advise, softening the hearts, worship